“Yet”-people in an “As”-world

So you may be thinking…what is Bretta talking about here? “Yet”-people, “as”-world, what does she mean? Well, keep reading…I hope by the end of this post you will understand.

Two words: “as…yet…” but they hold so much meaning. In this world, our human eyes may see one thing, and “yet” with our eyes of faith we can see something completely different. In 2 Corinthians 6: 8-10, Paul writes an amazing passage with the words “as” and “yet” are repeated over and over again:

“…regarded as deceivers and yet true; as unknown yet well-known, as dying yet behold, we live; as punished yet not put to death, as sorrowful yet always rejoicing, as poor yet making many rich, as having nothing yet possessing all things.”

Kerry Kinchen, the pastor of the fellowship I attend in Texas, Bridgeway Bible Church, preached on this passage a few weeks ago. It never ceases to amazes me that just when I need to hear or be reminded of something, the Lord provides. Lately, the Lord has been asking a lot of my family. We have been under stress and strain, yet, I was reminded through Paul’s writings and Kerry’s preaching to look through the eyes of faith in all of it. The world see the “as,” BUT… believers can experience the “yet.”

Paul composes quite a list to the Corinthians about all that the world may see as wrong in a believer’s life: unknown, dying, sorrowful, poor, etc., yet inspite of all of this, he uses words such as well-known, rejoicing, rich, etc. to describe himself and other believers. How can this be? When the sermon began on that Sunday and Pastor Kerry read, “as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing…” I scribbled down in my notebook, “how does one live this?” How do we have sorrow, yet always rejoice? I know in my heart that this is something a believer should do, but how is it accomplished? How do we live as “yet”-people in an “as”-world?

The method for this living can be found in an earlier verse of the chapter, “but in everything commending ourselves as servants of God…” (v. 4). Pastor Kerry stated we must put God and what He thinks before anything else.

As the sermon continued, I began to realize the key. “Lord let  me become smaller, so YOU can become more,” I silently prayed.  We have to think less and less of ourselves and more of the Lord. We have to give Him EVERYTHING. Not just our cast-offs, but our first fruits, our best. When we realize we are “servants of God,” we are able to recognize our “blessings while in the midst of a cursed world,” (Kinchen).  We do not think of ourselves as higher than we should. We see ourselves and are circumstances through the eyes of faith. When we keep our eyes on ourselves we see the “as,” but when we subject ourselves to the Lord and allow His Spirit to give us the eyes of faith, we see the “yet.”

In this way, we, although we experience sorrow, can rejoice. We can see the bigger picture. Inspite of the sorrow and in through the sorrow, we can rejoice because we remember the privilege of serving our Lord, who gave His all for us. When we do this, He gives us His joy, “Do not be grieved, for the joy of Yahweh is your strength,” (Nehemiah 8:10).

As Kerry reminded us, this rejoicing is not a feeling. We can rejoice regardless of how we feel. While we are feeling hurt, we rejoice; while we are feeling frighten, we rejoice, while we are feeling happy, we rejoice (that’s an easy one), while we are feeling sorrow, we still rejoice! “Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say rejoice,” (Philippians 4:4).

I can testify to the power of this. The last few weeks, with Ian deployed and adjusting to the twist and turns of life have been very difficult. There has been much sorrow, yet through it I have been able to have more peace and joy then ever before in my life. I have looked to Jesus and He has been faithful to His promise. I have been able to rejoice! Praise be to the Lord.

A new venture…

How many times have you either asked this or been asked this question: do you know a good book I can read? 

I know that my sisters and friends have asked this question of me; I know that I have asked this of others. I love to read and discovering a new book is like finding a treasure. Books are windows into worlds that I may never be able to enter or  dream of one day stepping into. As a young girl I would eagerly wait for “bedtime,” since that meant I could go up to my room and read…yes, I looked forward to bedtime…crazy, but true! It was often a struggle to find good books to read, especially when I was finishing a book every couple days. Over the years, my library of books has grown and I will try to each week post a short review of one of these treasures. My hope is that it may introduce my readers to ones that they may have never read or remind them one a long-lost favorite.

My first review will be of one of my all-time favorites: The Midshipman Quinn Collection by Showell   Styles.

Genre: Historical fiction

Audience: Anyone (no really, I have recommended this book to adults, youths, families, boys and girls…and they have all LOVED it)

Plot: This is the story of a young boy entering the British Navy. He is a bit of a different hero, with his spectacles and bookish ways, he does not seem to fit the stereotypical naval officer. However, his ingenious ways and crazy schemes led to many adventures; along the way he meets with many interesting and endearing characters. This is a wonderful book, definitely one of my favorites!

This book is available on Amazon. Happy reading!

Our North Star

Today while I was helping a friend, the topic of the North Star was brought up. My friend, stated that the North Star is a never-moving, stationary point of light always guiding its onlookers to the north. Ever since I was a child, I have been familiar with stories of black slaves using the North Star as their guide to freedom. I began to think on these two ideas, an ever-fixed, always faithful star, and thousands of enslaved people using it to guide them to freedom. As I did, I realized that Jesus must be a Christian’s “North Star.” We must turn our eyes to Him to find direction and encouragement.

Before Christ frees us, we are enslaved people. Paul writes of this in Romans, he proclaims that we were “slaves to sin,” (Romans 6:20). But, because of Christ’s sacrifice we are no longer slaves to sin, “But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord,” (Romans 6:22-23). We now have a new life, a new Master. Jesus Christ, the North Star, has guided us to Himself.

However, this reliance on Christ as our Guide, does not end at Salvation. I know that I often stumble, fall and totally mess-up (I am fairly confident that all my readers do as well). Later in Romans, Paul speaks of this struggle, “For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me,” (Romans 7: 19-20). Do you ever feel that way, dear sisters? I find that I often try so hard to be “good” and to live holy, but fail miserably. Everyday is a war with the flesh, I continually have to sacrifice it at the Cross, laying down my own selfish desires and pursuits and allowing God to fill me with His Spirit. Some days I feel as though I am a complete failure and of no use to the Lord because the of “wretched [woman] that I am!” (Romans 7: 24a).  But God does not require works, He requires us to trust Him and by faith we are saved. He will do the work, if we look to Him, “Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7: 24b-25).

Arthur Pierson wrote of this need to keep our eyes fixed on our North Star. He writes:

Grace does not at once remove or overcome all tendencies to evil, but, if not eradicated, they are counteracted by the Spirit’s wondrous working. Peter found that so long as his eye was on his Master, he could walk on the water. There is always a tendency to sink, and a holy walk with God, that defies that tendency is a divine art that can neither be learned not practiced except so long as we keep “looking unto Jesus” : that look of faith counteracts the natural tendency to sink, so long as it holds the soul closely to him” (George Muller of Bristol, p.129).

Let us keep our eyes on Jesus, our North Star. Then, and only then, can we, as Peter did, perform miraculous acts for our Lord and Savior’s glory!

For our brothers

In my last post on modesty (Why Modesty?), I contended that we need to dress modestly because we are Christ’s ambassadors and we need to represent Him in a holy and pure way. I believe that there is another reason for dressing modestly: for the sake of our brothers-in-Christ.

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 8:9-13:

But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak. For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will not the conscience of him who is weak be emboldened to eat those things offered to idols? And because of your knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? But when you thus sin against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.”

Paul loved his brothers (and sisters)-in-Christ so much that he would give up whatever would cause one of them to stumble.

Sisters, can we say the same? Would you be willing to give up that tiny tee-shirt, those favorite shorts that may just be a little to short, that dress that shows just a little too much…Paul was willing. He cared more about his brothers, than his stomach. Do you care more about your brothers – or your fashion statement? Even as I write this I am challenged. My mind is searching through my closet, thinking of what may be there that would cause a brother of my to stumble. I want to be an encouragement to my brothers, not a stumbling block.

Having grown up in a family of all sisters, I did not always consider this as much as I should. God made the male and female differently. A girl wearing something too revealing is going to impact a boy in a way that a girl may never understand. However, we, as their sisters-in-Christ, need to be mindful of this and be a safe haven for our brothers. When a boy is around me, I don’t want it to be a struggle for them to keep their thoughts pure (they get that enough in the world we live in). I realize that the thoughts of the males around me are not completely my responsibility, but as Paul wrote, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service…If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. ” (Romans 12: 1, 18). We can do our part to show our love for our brothers by dressing in a way that, “as much as it depends on us,” does not cause them to stumble.

Sisters, in a world that bombards our Christians brothers with temptation and stumbling blocks, let us be a light. Let us be that safe haven. Let us think more of them. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:5, that “love does not seek its own.” Instead love puts others first. Let put our brothers, instead of style and fashion and our own vanity, first.

A Sister’s Perspective

This was written by my sister, Erin. God granted her a unique and precious perspective, that I am so glad she was willing to so beautifully share.

The Joy of the Bridegroom Coming for His Bride

And the Sorrow of Those Left Behind

And Jesus answered and spoke to them again by parables and said: “The kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who arranged a marriage for his son, and sent out his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding; and they were not willing to come. Again, he sent out other servants, saying, ‘Tell those who are invited, “See, I have prepared my dinner; my oxen and fatted cattle are killed, and all things are ready. Come to the wedding.”’  But they made light of it and went their ways, one to his own farm, another to his business. And the rest seized his servants, treated them spitefully, and killed them.  But when the king heard about it, he was furious. And he sent out his armies, destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city. Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy. Therefore go into the highways, and as many as you find, invite to the wedding.’ So those servants        went out into the highways and gathered together all whom they found, both bad and good. And the wedding hall was filled with guests.’ (Matthew 22:1-10)

A wedding, what a joyous occasion. Jesus, in the verse above, spoke in parables to those listening and told them that His return shall be like a wedding day. It has always been clear to me that the Church is the bride of Christ. We are His chosen one waiting for that precious moment when He returns for His bride and takes her home. It has represented a beautiful picture. Christ’s love for His bride, the Church, is a powerful and wonderful thing.

Recently, the analogy of the bride and bridegroom has created a deeper meaning for me. I have been a part of my two older sisters’ weddings and have witnessed first hand what a lovely, emotional and inspiring thing it is to have the bridegroom receive his bride. It is as Revelation 21:2 states, “And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” Watching the beauty of my sisters coming down the aisle towards their grooms was an amazing event. It made me stop to think just how magnificent it will be on the day Jesus receives His bride.

The weddings of my sisters also brought other thoughts and emotions to my mind as well. Amidst the splendor and joy that the days held, there was also sadness and a sense of emptiness left within me when it was all over. The each day was a wonderful celebration, but when all was said and done, my sisters were gone and I was lonely. My heart ached for them to be back, yet I knew they would not. It got me thinking, with every wedding there is a sense of great joy for those who have entered into marriage, yet mixed with that joy is a sense of loss by those left behind. On that day when Christ returns for His bride, there will be great rejoicing within the Church. The bridegroom has come and we can enter into eternity with Him. But what about those left behind? As with the weddings of my sisters, I believe there will be an immense feeling of sorrow and emptiness by others. Imagine the magnitude of splendor that shall take place on that appointed day. It will be like the greatest wedding ever attended, but increased beyond belief. As the joy is magnified, so too is the sorrow. When those who see the wedding party rejoicing, as John 3:29 reveals will take place “The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete”, they will see that they have missed out on the most important part of their life. Their sorrow and sense of loss, emptiness and hopelessness will be increased beyond compare.

My sisters’ weddings have taught me many things. Most importantly they have given me a small glimpse of the joy that will be experienced when Christ returns for His bride. It has also instilled in me a greater passion for reaching out to those who are not a friend of the Bridegroom, to a world that is lost and dying. My sadness was great enough at my sisters’ weddings, I wish that no one should have to experience that sorrow magnified at Christ’s return. Unfortunately, there are many who will not listen as is seen in Matthew 22. The wedding day will arrive and they will be unprepared and their sorrow will be the greatest ever experienced. May I do my part to reach as many as I can and tell them the day is approaching, prepare. The wedding feast of the Lord is coming and you do not want to be left behind.

Left Behind

(Matthew 22) 

Who would have thought it all would have turned out this way

Who would have known it would actually happen some day?

I thought they were joking, I thought they were crazy

I never could see the point in their struggles, I was happy to remain lazy

Now it’s me on the outside looking in on their day.

It’s me left behind without a word to say.

The room is lit brightly, the party is festive

The guests are all dressed in their very best.

If I sneak up to the door, do you think I could enter?

I’m sure no one would notice if I just slipped inside.

I’m trying to fit in, but failing completely.

Here comes the Father straight over to meet me.

My cloths are all shabby, my hair’s quite the mess

He’s now by my side and I don’t want to confess.

“How did you enter the wedding of my Son?

From whom did your wedding invitation come?”

“Invitation?” I stammered, “why I received none.

“But I am here now to help celebrate the marriage of your Son”

I knew it would not work, I knew I was done.

I had been told of the wedding and not prepared to come.

There is now a great sorrow and an emptiness inside

I chose the cares of the world and left the wedding behind

It is all too late now to prepare for the day.

Their pleasure is great and mine is slipping away.

There’s great joy of the Bridegroom coming for His Bride

And great sorrow for those who are now left behind.

Lesson for the Type A

I had hope to write a real post soon after the last one on modesty, however as I stated before, life became very busy and my time occupied. I was frustrated with not being able to write. I have really wanted to, but for one reason or another the day would go by without a post even started. I would fall asleep at night, determining in my mind, “tomorrow, I will write.” I not sure if I was suffering from writer’s block, laziness or maybe God was having it postponed for a greater reason.

I believe that later reason is probably the most important. The Lord is working even in the small things, teaching us and molding us. No situation is too small or seemingly unimportant for Him to use. Even now, as I am writing He is revealing something to me. I began this post with a different title, I was going to write more about modesty. Although, I will at some point write this, right now I feel like He is wanting me to share something different, something that He is teaching me right now. Something that others may struggle with as well.

For me, I have a constant struggle with feeling like I NEED to accomplish what I added to my “to-do” list (whether a mental list or legitimate-pen-and-paper list). I create lists and often feel my worth in how much I can cross off. If my day starts with a long list and at night if I can think back and see if all accomplished, I feel good about myself and my day. I guess this is in part because I am quite type A.  A type A person can be described as, “marked by excessive competitiveness and ambition, an obsession with accomplishing tasks quickly, little time for self-reflection, and a strong need to control situations,” (Dictionary.com). Those who know me, know that I can often be like this. This definition does not create a very appealing person, at least not in my mind. I know that God has made me this way for a purpose, but I also have to allow Him to mold my personality into more of what He wants and can use, (“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17).

These qualities can be very good, if I allow the Lord to work through me. However, when I live in the flesh, I can become obsessed with accomplishing tasks, controlling and organizing. I think that may be why the Lord was “postponing” my blog writing. He was showing me that it’s not in the checking off of the task that is important, it’s the heart and message behind what I am writing. He was reminding me of why I started this blog. It was not to write posts, to accomplish high viewing stats, or Facebook “likes.” When I began this blog it was with the desire to reach out to other girls and women who, as I, are seeking to live as “a daughter of a King.” I wanted to share with others the lessons that the Lord was teaching me.

I have a feeling that the Proverbs 31 woman was type A, (just look at all she accomplished in a day!). However, she had the right heart, she “feared the Lord,” (v. 30). She had her priorities right, God first, others second, herself (and that includes fleshly desires of her personality) last. When those are in the right place, no matter what gets done each day, a Proverbs 31 woman can end her day knowing she did her utmost for her Father and King. The Lord is teaching me it’s not in the “doing” where I find my worth, its in “being.” Being a daughter of a King, being who He desires me to be. I find my worth in who I am in Christ (a new creation) and not what I cross off of a list.

Hello Again…

Wow, has it really been over two months since I wrote anything?

Life has drastically changed for me since I last blogged. The most obvious change is my name; I am no longer Bretta Kelly, I am now Bretta McAlister. On March 17, 2012, I married my love and soul-mate, Ian. It was a beautiful day, shared with family and friends. I was not the only one whose name changed during these past two months. My sister, Shannon, also become a wife. She married Benjamin Anna on a snowy February day in Rochester New York. It was the aim for both our weddings to glorify the Lord throughout the celebrations. Although we had very different weddings, I believe each on honored the Lord.

Benjamin and Shannon Anna

It is my hope that when people think about and remember our weddings, one thing will come to their minds. I hope that love will be the overarching theme that they recall. Love between a man and woman. Love between families. Love for friends. Love for the Lord, the Giver of all our blessings. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17

Now that life is somewhat slowing down again (although, I am finding that “slow” may not ever really describe Ian and my life), I am going to try and begin writing again. I was last blogging on modesty and I would like to continue on this theme. The Lord continues to lay topics and ideas on my heart that I believe He wants to share. I truly seek to encourage my readers, not by any grand ideas of my own, but through what He is teaching this child of His.

Why modesty?

What is modest? What is not? What types of dress “sits on the fence?” Which cross completely over? I don’t know about you, but these types of questions always seem to reappear in discussion in my house. My sisters and I have always tried to dress modestly. But this word, “modesty,” means different things to almost anyone you ask. Are pants modest for a girl? How high should the neckline of a shirt be? How long should the skirt be? Ask these questions to a group of Christian girls and most likely, you will receive as many answers and combination of answers as there are girls in the group. 

I am not even going to try and outline some kind of step-by-step guide to modesty in this post. Why? First, I do not have one myself. I still struggle over some of these questions. Second, I think the real issue here is not compiling a “never-fail, always follow” list of rules; instead I believe it is important to look at why the question of modesty is even important.

Why is it even necessary to consider if what we, as ladies, wear is modest? Does not Jesus, Himself, say ““Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?” (Matthew 6:25, NKJV). Yes, Jesus did tell us not to “worry” about what we wear, but we still need to be mindful of it. As followers of Christ, we are a temple of the Holy Spirit, “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

This is the first reason why modestly must be considered. Before ascending back to Heaven, Jesus left His disciples with this exhortation, “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth,” (Acts 1:8). We are Christ’s witnesses here on earth. Sisters, the way we dress and present ourselves is how the world will see Christ. I have often heard the phrase, “you may be the only Bible that someone reads.” Our actions, words, and yes, even appearance, needs to point others to Christ and the truth. We must, in all areas “glorify God.” Even the way we dress should bring glory to God and serve as a witness to Christ, “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all [that means how we dress] to the glory of God,” (1 Corinthians 10:31). 

When you dress in the morning or shop for clothes, keep this in mind. Do not ask yourself, “is this shirt too tight?” Instead, look at from the point of “does this shirt glorify God?” Really, you might be thinking, how is that suppose to help with deciding what to wear? Does God even care? Yes, God does care, because as the above verses show, God desires us to be witnesses for Him and glorifying to Him in all areas of our lives, including our clothes. The shirt you are wearing now, does it allow others to see Christ, or does it point to yourself and highlight your “charms?” Remember Proverbs 31:30, states, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” We do not want the way we dress to make others focus on our appearance, instead it should allow the light of Christ to shine through.  

This is the first reason why modesty is important, however there are others. Over the next few weeks, I hope to share more on this issue. Sisters, I leave you today with the words of Peter, “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4). 

Visions and times of waiting

It was so clear, so real. You could almost reach out and touch it. Before you was your life calling, your passion, your focus. God’s purpose for your life was right in front of you. You stood on the mountain with your Lord and all was displayed. No longer will there be doubt and confusion. Or so you thought; then…Monday came… and all of sudden, life was once again complicated, confusing and unclear.

How many times this has happened to me, I cannot even begin to recall. I can remember thinking, where did I go wrong? Did I misunderstand God? Was this vision not for me?

I have learned that often God brings us to the mountain and we are given a vision. Just as Jesus brought His disciples to the Mount of Transfiguration and they were able to see Our Lord in all of His glory (Luke 9:28-36). The Lord will bring His beloved children to a special place where deeper understanding and visions are seen. However, as Luke’s account records, after this occurred, Peter, James and John “kept this to themselves and did not tell anyone at that time what they had seen,” (v. 36). It took many years before this experience was shared with others. The disciples were granted the privilege of seeing the vision, but time had to pass and work had to be done in their lives before it was God’s timing for this vision to be shared and put to use.  Oswald Chambers writes, ”God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into its shape, and it is in the valley that we faint and give way while all the time God is wanting to get us to the reality.” We must not allow the second part of Chamber’s statement to come true in our lives. In the valley we must hold to the vision and have faith that God will use it in His perfect timing.

This vision can sometimes come in the form of a calling. Moses knew that he was to be the deliverer for God’s enslaved people. In Exodus 2:11-15, Moses tried to fulfill this calling in his own power. However, God’s timing and means were quite different from what Moses imagined. He was giving a vision, but he had to first spend 40 years in the wilderness tending another man’s sheep before God brought this vision to fruition.

Arthur Pierson writes, “The workman of God needs to wait on Him to know the work he is to do and the sphere where he is to serve Him.” God will give His servant a vision and then ask them to wait and trust as He prepares them for the fulfillment of this calling. This is something that is often difficult, especially for people like me who quickly become impatient. I see the vision and want to immediately get to work, roll up my sleeves and begin to serve the Lord. What could be more obedient than that, right?

Wrong! I must be willing to be patient, to wait, to walk through the valley, the times of training, of preparation.  Chambers writes, ”…God has to take us into the valley and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get into the condition in which He can trust us with the reality of His recognition of us.” These can be hard days, there may be some, when the vision seems to faint, that we wonder if we just imagine it. I can guess there were times when Moses, sitting in the wilderness with sheep all around him, wondered if he really was the one to deliver the people. However, Isaiah 40:31 reminds us, “But those who wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

“He who kept Moses waiting forty years before he sent him to lead out captive Israel, who withdrew Saul of Tarsus three years into Arabia before he sent him as an apostle to the nations, and who left even his own Son thirty years in obscurity before his manifestation as Messiah — this God is in no hurry to put other servants to work.” ~ Arthur Pierson 

Dear sisters, hold on to the vision the Lord has given you, trust that He is training and molding you into servant He needs you to be in order to fulfill this vision.

Wait on the Lord and only through the waiting will you be able to soar!

“Letting Go” again…

I was feeling very overwhelmed and discouraged tonight and was reading through some of my blog posts from my other blog (http://delightblog.wordpress.com/). It was encouraging to see some of the lessons that the Lord taught me, and some of them I feel like I am having to relearn. This is a blog posting from when I was writing while living in South Carolina, it speaks of allow God to have control and letting go. Lord, my prayer tonight is that I may once again let go and allow you to work Your perfect will. 

“Once again my commitment to giving my life over to God was tested yesterday. I thought that I had reached a point where I could say and live out “anywhere with Jesus” (as I wrote about the other day). But yesterday, I began to fret and worry (well really panic) about what that might mean. I had asked Jesus to show me where He wanted me to serve and to use me how He saw best. But my selfish flesh had come up with how I wanted this to look, but God may have other ideas in mind.

Some of these might not be ones that I particularly like. I had really wanted to go home and be with my family again, but this might not be God’s plan. The author of Hebrew also expressed the feeling that I was experiencing. In the final chapter he states, “Pray for us…but I especially urge you to do this, that I may be restored to you the sooner” (Hebrew 13:18-19). Missing people and wanting to be where we are not is something that I think all humans experience. But we have to give these emotions over to God, following the advice that Hebrews offers, pray.

I am also struggling with being patient while waiting for God to reveal His plan. I trust that He will and that He will give me the strength to fulfill His plan, but the waiting can sometime be overwhelming. While reading today a quote of Lilias Trotter reminded me of unimportant time really is. “‘Time is nothing to God – nothing in its speeding, nothing in its halting – He is the God that inhabited eternity.’ And children of eternity “can afford to tarry His leisure no matter how short [their] time is” (from A Passion for the Impossible). In God’s timing He will ”make all things beautiful.” How great it is that we can rest in that.”